I'll admit there are plenty of times that I become annoyed with little acts of clumsiness. I can't tell sometimes if my Humanling is being deliberately careless, if epilepsy is playing some role or (as if!) it's simply an accident.
Her Highest Spill Rates (HSR) are generally whenever I am in a hurry. Such as before getting her on the school bus. It's already a challenging job with her in the mornings since that is also her most susceptible time for a seizure. If she's up for ten minutes without one then we should be set for the day. Right before writing this post, I myself doused my chin and the stove with coffee. I thought I'd be swift and finish what was left in the cup. Since there is a cover on it, I can't really tell. Swilled and spilled. It pulls my awareness toward Patience, Danielson. Indeed, I need to stop assuming there was a worldwide dastardly reason for spills.
There is an awareness par-TAY going on up in here on a constant basis. What I'm super aware of is that I probably don't have even one millionth of the capacity of eye opening that I am capable of.
Humanling is in the 8th grade (ah, good times. My favorite year to be a total eff up and then pull it all together by the end of the year to pass with good grades. As the guidance counselor said to me back then, "I like you, but I don't trust you." Wonder what effect that had on my psyche!)
She is into all sorts of things that I wasn't, and I'm my gratefulness is mingling with a bus full of awe. She came home saying she wanted to run for Class President. I don't know about folks who are dealing with their own special needs kids, or even epilepsy for that matter, but I can tell you that my first impression is that I thought it was way over her head. Class President? PRESIDENT? You can't keep your binder organized but you want to do this? You can't even stand in sunlight without it immobilizing you if it's in your eyes. I certainly did not say these things. Instead, I asked her, "What's your *thing*? Your cause? What are you bringing to the table?" She replied that they should vote for her because she's cute.
"That's what a beauty contest is for. You'll have to think of something else."
She spoke with her dad on the phone, and then he talked to me for a bit. A good course would be for her to be open to polling, and then moving forward with what the Good People of Eighth Grade wanted. She made her posters and hung them up.
Meantime, I was doing some weighing of my thoughts and what was right or fair. It seems that I had already doubted her from the moment that she mentioned she wanted to run. It seems that with her epilepsy, my instincts, whether I say anything or not, is to think about what she Can't do, which is hardly fair. I thought to myself that she needs this experience. If anyone handed my current list of job responsibilities to me and I hadn't done the job, I'd probably shy away from it and go be a waitress. I had to jump in and learn. I don't have a college degree within a corporation where you usually won't get hired without one. I was lucky to scoot through back in 1997 and prove myself as a temp before being hired in 1999.
So it is possible here, to just let her follow her own path. Sure, run for Class President. She has gotten now the experience of oral presentation by writing and delivering a speech (something at the age of 13 would have just sent me for a shovel in which to dig a grave for myself). She has gotten to think up a just 'cause' for her classmates. She's gotten to design and hang posters, being immersed in the experience of it all. I have zero experience in this. She has superseded me on this one and I am really proud of her.
Putting limitations on her creates the elephant with the rope syndrome. When elephants are young and being trained, a rope is tied to their foot with the other end being tied to something immovable so that they are securely tethered. Eventually they associate this rope with being immobilized so that all you need do, is tie a rope to their foot and leave the other end loose. They believe they can't go anywhere, and so they won't.
I have no idea yet of the outcome, but am amazed that she tried. Instilling a sense of motivation and nurturing it will do wonders for her, as will dealing with disappointment and failure, as will becoming Class President.
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